When grief strikes our lives, everything seems to hang in a limbo of pain and uncertainty. We lose our balance, that stable point of reference that represented our loved one: their words, their gaze, their experiences, their touch. It's as if we're on the edge of an unsolvable equation, desperately seeking meaning in a world suddenly become uncertain.
Facing grief
Our experience of life is made up of constants and variables. One constant is death. A true plan, a design given to us with the first breath. It's the only certainty. However, it catches us unprepared, disarmed. Facing grief is an experience we all go through, sooner or later, in different ways, in variables. What unites us is that sense of loss of balance between what was and what will be.
For me, balance evokes images of yoga asanas or walking on a horizontal beam, or on a slackline. In these activities, experiencing balance inevitably means losing it. It's a process of trial and error, and sometimes, falls.
Imagine life as a slackline. To move forward, you need to maintain balance, but every step you take carries the risk of losing it. Sometimes, we need to stop to find our center again, other times we need to move forward, even if uncertain about the ground we're on. Only we can know which move is right for us at that moment.
Listening for a sense of grace and kindness
Here's the key point: the more we can embrace grace and kindness within ourselves, the more we can naturally live through grief. There will be times when we need to stand still, accepting our pain without trying to resist it. Other times will require courage to take a step forward, even if unsure of the ground we're on. And yes, there will also be times when we fall, but it's in the fall that we find the strength to get back up.
If you're experiencing a moment of grief, know that you're not alone. Facing grief and finding balance on the tightrope of life may seem impossible, but it's a journey we can take together, with kindness and compassion, step by step, fall by fall. Be gentle with yourself, be patient, and above all, be open to the possibility of finding balance, even when all seems lost.
With warmth,
Agnese